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Dane Maxwell: The Only Things You Need To Make Life Easy
Have you ever considered in your business and personal life what the difference is between spinning your wheels and making real traction?
Editors Notes: More and more business owners aren’t content with just doing business as usual. They want an authentic connection between what they do and who they’re doing it for to really feel successful. Have you considered how your own personal alignment with the work you do and how you do it could improve not only your personal life but your business success, too? Dane Maxwell, Founder of The Foundation, talks about the importance of alignment in achieving your best in life.
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I'm recording this talk because I think it's the most important thing I've discovered in my life, to date. More important than just about anything else I've learned. And I want as many people in the world to be exposed to it and it's already been written about in numerous forms, it's been talked about in various, different mediums. But I don't think it's really ever been delivered in this fashion. And so, I want to start by telling you a story about how Dave Matthews became Dave Matthews.
So, back in the day, all these kids were graduating from high school and going into college. And Dave was like "I don't know if I want to do college." And so, instead of following everyone else, he didn't go. And instead, he ended up moving to Australia and he became a janitor for a bar and then I think he became a bartender; one of the two.
After working at his bar for a while, the bar started running open mic nights. And so, Dave is like "Cool. I'll learn to play guitar and I'll start doing open mic nights." And then, thus Dave Matthews was born.
So, breaking down Dave's story and what I'm going to talk about. And I'll give you--it's one word. I typically [inaudible 00:01:18] foundation, the most important word in business. This is also one word.
And if you break down what happened for Dave, what he did is say "No" to the maybes. He was kind of confused. College wasn't really like a "Hell yes" to him. It was a "maybe," so he said "No." He followed his inner-voice. More importantly, he handled people's responses and reactions.
Can you imagine "No, I'm not going to college. I'm moving to Australia to work at a bar." That's not going to get a lot of approval. But he has, also, clarity on what he wanted without collapsing. He wasn't like "Oh, I'm going to go to Australia." He was like "No, I feel good about Australia."
And then, he was also stubborn. He really knew what he wanted, no matter how many people tried to convince him otherwise. So, this most important topic that I'm talking about is alignment. And finding alignment in your life.
And John Mayer has a quote in one of his songs. He says he found out that the real world is...what is it Adam? Cheers and a round of applause for Adam Carroll. So, we just started. You just missed the story of Dave Matthews and how he got famous.
B: Could you start over?
A: No. So, John Mayer has a quote. And he says "There's no such thing as the real world. Just a lie we have to rise above." And I think that the real world begins to not exist to you the way that people say it should as soon as you're in alignment with what it is that you want to do in your life.
So, talking about alignment. Alignment is the number one goal in my life at this point. Above strategies, above tactics, above anything else. It's like "What is an alignment for me?"
Now, Andy, my good, dear friend, business partner. His coach says that one person in alignment is more powerful than a million people out of alignment. And also, one hour spent working in alignment is more productive than a full day working out of alignment.
So, if you think about all the legends of history. Just some names that pop up, what are some names that are total legends in history?
Male voice: John D. Rockefeller.
Female voice: Beethoven.
Female voice: Gandhi.
Male voice: Henry Ford.
A: Henry Ford. All these people were super aligned. And if you think about it, the path that they walked down hadn't been really created yet. They carved it on their own. They got an alignment with who they were. And then, they faced these treacherous woods, that there's no path. And they walked in.
And so, that's the question. How do you create the life of your dreams? Not someone else's dreams, but yours. And how do you create a life that you love? And the answer is by finding alignment.
Now, I want to just briefly share--if you guys don't know me very well, sometimes, I tend to cry. I'll probably tear up when I do this, just for fair warning. And then, I'm going to talk about what happens when I'm not in alignment.
So, this is one thing that I started to do to find alignment in my life. And you guys are all familiar with vision boards. And vision boards are usually focused on what you have. Like, what do you want to have? A big house, a nice girlfriend, cars and money?
Well, you can supersede all that and you can go to states of being. There's "Have," "Do" and "Be." Who you're being indicates what you do, which will indicate what you have. So, why not make the vision board about who you want to be? So, who you want to be as alignment.
So, I created this vision board. And you'll see, it's got all of my favorite people that inspire the shit out of me. Like, when I think about these people, they produce a visceral "Holy cow" response to me. And so, that's why I do tear...I don't know if I will or not. But let me just walk through this vision board and how I use it in my life to find alignment.
So, this is the picture for "Where the Red Fern Grows." It's an amazing book. Who's read it? Anybody? So awesome.
The way of being for this is adventurous. And this is Jesus, of course and his way of being is loving. If you really receive that, it's almost impossible not to tear up.
This is C.S. Lewis. And his way of being is imaginative. He wrote "Chronicles of Narnia." Like a wardrobe in an attic that you walk through and there's a lamppost and a goat with a human body. It's like "How do you that imagination?"
And then, this lady, she's a 109-year-old Holocaust survivor. If you haven't seen her video, it brought me to tears instantly. They asked her what's her secret to being so happy? And she can't really hear, they're like "What's the secret? What's the secret to being so happy?" She's like "Oh, I see beauty everywhere." It's just insane, so her way of being is beauty.
So, we've got adventurous, loving, imaginative, beauty. And this is Aslan in the "Chronicles of Narnia" and that's Lucy, I think, cuddled up next to him. And that's what I desire to be for women, for everyone. And Aslan's way of being is protective and just like a lion, he would fucking kill for you to protect you.
And then, we have David Hawkins. He's really inspiring to me. This is, I thought this would be kind of cool because this is the kind of the relationship that I desire, is this kind of endearment. And I've heard David Hawkins once say about his wife that he said "It's because of you that I know God's love is real."
And his way of being is kindness. So, imagine you look at this every day and you install adventure. You install love, you install imagination, you install beauty, you install kindness.
And then, you've got Desmond Tutu. Desmond Tutu is the man and I listened to his podcast "On the Way of Being," so thank you for that. And Desmond Tutu, his way of being is joy. If you see this guy smile, it's impossible not to light up. When he smiles, it's like crazy cool.
And then I have my parents on here. And their way of being is peaceful. Mom's says "Unconditional acceptance." Thank you.
And then, we have Russell Crowe from "Gladiator." "Honor and strength."
And then, we have this guy, Skid Boot is the dog that I saw. So, when I did this, I just closed my eyes...and if you want to make something like this, I would just close my eyes and I searched for any time that I met that produced that trigger response.
And so this guy, in the "Oprah" episode, Oprah is like "You must be really proud, so proud." Do you remember this part? We were watching it together. Oprah is like "You must be so proud to have this dog." Then he said "No, I'm not proud at all. I feel so lucky that I have this dog and I'm at its service. This dog is a gift to me and I take no credit for that."
And the humility was just so disarming. So, that way of being is being a servant. Actually, no, that's humility. This is being a servant. Nope, sorry. Let me do it one more time. This is definitely humility. This guy is being a servant, a servant to his dog, unconditional. It's a way of being as a servant.
This guy is the guy who created the study for water, where he froze the water crystals. And he looked at all his water crystals. We bought a janky [SP] old DVD off Amazon and it was literally filmed with a 1995 VHS. And we were watching this guy walk around and he was so humble and they asked him about giving him all this credit for creating the greatest discovery of human science. Some people say it's not scientific, whatever. I think it's pretty freaking cool.
And they asked him "Wow, you must feel so proud." And he was again, super humble. And he was like "No, I just feel so lucky that I was the one that discovered this gift. If it wasn't me, it would have been someone else and I'm just so grateful that I was able to." And that kind of humility is what I want to bring to my life.
And then Napoleon Hill, his way of being is a student. And Napoleon Hill was a student to all of the greatest minds--the Rockefellers, the Carnegies. He studied Carnegie and Rockefeller and Henry Ford and all these guys and he wrote the book "Think and Grow Rich."
So, I look at all these and I'm going to draw arrows and then, this guy in the middle is happy. That's one way of finding alignment.
And I didn't originally have that planned in the speech. But what happens; when you look at a vision board of things that you want, it typically produces anxiety. And when you look at a vision board that's like way states of being, holy cow, does it let you up.
Because those feelings aren't those people. Those people are activating feelings that are already side me. That's me. That's me on that board. It's not like they're separate from me, they're different from me. "C.S. Lewis is imaginative and I'm not." No, if I can feel the imagination when I look at C.S. Lewis, that's actually my gift to have as well.
So, we're talking about alignment. What happens when you're not in alignment? I wonder if you guys are spinning in your wheels at all right now, but you think about...there's not alignment. There's friction, there's pain, there's lots and lots of effort. And the kind of effort that isn't really rewarding.
Your self-esteem starts to suffer. Your self-love starts to suffer. Your quality of life drops. And each day that you wake up out of alignment, a piece of your soul dies and suffers.
And weird things happen when you're out of alignment. When my mom...she's a piano teacher and she's a very gifted piano teacher and she stopped into being a piano office manager. Is it okay if I share this?
And she went to a conference. And this guy showed pictures of students lining up around the block to come to his piano studios and I was like "Gosh, I want that many students." And she got distracted by that and lost alignment like we all have.
And it stressed her out so much that she ended up getting into a car accident and then completely shut down the studio. Because she knew that that was what caused that. So, weird things happen when you're out of alignment.
And it can be harder and harder to get out of alignment the longer you stay in. The longer you hesitate, the longer you stay in, you just kind of keep shrinking and shrinking. You know when I say your self-esteem and your self-love suffers? It's awful. And that's why I say the most important thing in the world is for you to find alignment with what you want to be and what you want to do and where you're going and whoever is it that you are. Finding that alignment is how you can show up to be the greatest version of yourself.
And so also, when you're out of alignment, it just so happens to consume almost every thought and every feeling you have because you're thinking about it every day. Every day, you go into that job you don't want to go into, you're like "Oh, I should quit this job." Or every time you see that manager, you think about it. You think about it when you're not even doing it.
Legitimately, the greatest cause of stress for you is to be out of alignment. There are other great causes of stress, of course.
Think about a football team. Imagine if a running back tried to be a quarterback. Imagine if a football kicker tried to be a lineman. They would get slaughtered. This is perfect.
Imagine the football kicker being a lineman and everybody is telling him to be a lineman. For as long as he can remember, everyone is telling him to be a lineman, so he decides to be a lineman and he gets slaughtered every day because he wasn't built to be that. Self-esteem suffers, self-love suffers. Gets consumed. Puts in tons of effort. Lifts, builds weight, all this stuff and he'll never be as good as a natural lineman.
So, think about a football team. If the running back is in the running back position and the quarterback is in the quarterback position, it just flows. But when it's not, it'd be devastatingly awful.
And think about your car, if your wheels are out of alignment. Think about when you're driving on the road, how much effort; you're turning the wheel a little bit to the right or you're turning it to the left just to keep the car on the road. Versus just if it's aligned, you can just go and you can relax.
So, my life is not as aligned as I would like. Surprisingly, it's becoming more and more aligned, that's one of the reasons why I'm moving.
And so, what happens is when you start stepping into alignment, things become effortless. Effortless. And magical things start to happen.
So, if it's so painful to be out of alignment, then why do we stay there and how does it happen? So, let's go over how it happens.
I'm not an expert at this, by the way. I made all this stuff, like, two days ago, just so you guys know. So, this is all tentative work and if you want to challenge any of it, I welcome you to. Don't believe anything I say is the truth; I want you to check in with yourself.
Because I want to build this into a framework. Someone in here to build a Facebook group around finding alignment and then we can all join it and we can discuss finding alignment stories. I'm going to give you guys an exercise in a little bit and then I'm going to do something that's so terrifying for me in front of all you. That is an alignment with who I am. And now, I've said it so I have to do it.
So, how lack of alignment happens is it's a slow fade. You have that inner voice that says "Hey, I want to do this thing," but you ignore it. And it's always there and you ignore it.
Other voices get louder, whether it's parents, significant others, authority figures, anything like that. So, you have your voice and you ignore it. Then you have your peers or everyone saying "You should probably go to college" or whatever it is.
And then, doubt sets in and then, you don't really check in with that, if that's really real or not. And then, slowly, you fade off.
And then, another thing that I see is really common and I think it's very subtle and very seductive. And if you're not aware to it, you can get lost. It's seeing other people that are successful. And then thinking that you just need to model them and that's the answer.
And that's really tricky, because you can see "Wow, this person has this thing over here. Let me go over here and be it and do all these things." But three months, four months later, you're like "This feels awful." Because it's not in alignment with you are.
And the other problem with this is 95 percent of the world is legitimately blind. And so, you're typically the blind following the blind.
So, why we don't do it. Well, we think we know others know better than what we do. I think the real essence of this--and just check in with yourself and see how this resonates, but I just think we don't trust ourselves. We truly don't trust ourselves.
Because if we trusted ourselves, we would go do whatever it is. And/or possibly, I thought I wrote down, we've never really experienced what that "Hell, yes" feeling is. And we'll get into that in a second.
And so, there's excuses and there's reasons why we also don't these. There's things like limiting beliefs. It's fearful. When I'm going to do it, I'm about to do it. It's fear, scary, but I'm doing it as an example for you guys. I'm not going to say any more, but I want you to know that why I'm doing it is to face my fear. And also, as an example for you guys all to figure out what that piece of alignment is for you and step into that expression yourself.
So, it's fear, it's scary, it's often uncharted territory. Those legends, the Abraham Lincolns, the Gandhis, the Martin Luther Kings of the world; they were all in uncharted territory.
And then, you have things like "I don't have the time, I don't have the money, I don't have the experience" and that's all really BS. But it feels real. And I think it all boils back down to, again, really, a lack of trust in yourself.
So, how do you know if you're not in alignment? I'm not actually asking for you to answer, it's okay. I just want to give a pause.
So, how do you know you're not in alignment? It's easy. You know. You know if you're not in alignment. And you can BS your intuition all you want. But you know it. You know for a fact if you're not in alignment.
So, what's the metric for making a decision or not? Well, if it's a "Maybe," it's generally a "No." And if it's like a visceral, boom, "Oh, my gosh, yes." And now, the thing is the visceral yes happens and then what happens next? The voice comes in "You can't do that, blah, blah, blah."
So, you know the intuitive hit and I love when I coach people in the foundation or we're talking in life. And you're like "Well, what are you thinking?" You can feel and go up to their head and go in story mode. They're like "Well," and all these excuses. I'm like "What's your first intuitive fit?" "Well, I would do this." Half a second. "But, dah, dah, dah." And that's totally the game that they play and they're stuck in this wheel and that's why it's really difficult to find alignment.
So, when you're aligned, you have abundance. Complete abundance. In abundance, how I define it is whatever you need as provided, plus some. So, if you take an inventory of every key area of life; there are probably more key areas in this, but I was just kind of going with the flow. So, we have health, wealth, relationships, spiritual and then, your purpose.
I'm iffy about this, but this feels pretty decent to me. So, your health is aligned with, I believe, emotional surrender. Your health is aligned with emotional surrender.
And I was going to read a story from a book about when the body relinquishes guilt, typically, most health symptom will dissipate. This isn't always a tried and true fact. But a lot of people carry on guilt and shame and emotions. And as you surrender these feelings, your health becomes more vibrant.
I remember, I was at Burning Man. This guy was ripped, six-pack abs. I was like "Dude, what's your workout?" He's like "I got rid of all my baggage. I don't work out." That really stuck with me. So, health is aligned with emotional surrender.
So, how well are you surrendering to whatever emotions are coming up in your life? Wealth. I think this is aligned with joy of having, making and spending money and giving money, too. If you feel joy around making, spending and having money, then you're in alignment. If you feel kind of (?), there's something to examine. You need to get an alignment there.
Relationships. If relationships in your life aren't aligned, it's typically what I believe--and I'm not a relationship expert, I just ended a relationship. So, take this advice with a grain of salt. But relationships go really well for me when I'm aligned in complete self-love for myself.
If I'm not aligned in complete self-love, it's always the other person. "The other person is wrong, I haven't found the right person, I haven't found the one, dah, dah, dah." All these things come up. You can just tell they're just projecting every repressed feeling they ever have and it's typically aligned with self-love. If you're not in a relationship that you want, it's typically an issue with self-love.
And you know it, too. How do you know if you're not in alignment in your relationship? You know.
Spiritual. This is an aligned relationship with God for me. And then, purpose. This is kind of cool. This is aligned with God and your personality and your soul. And you can kind of feel it when you're firing on all cylinders. That's when the abundance happens. So, the lacking of abundance in your life is a lack of alignment.
So, if you guys just take an inventory, if you like thinking "This is where I'm not really feeling totally jazzed about or totally abundant about," this is typically because you're lacking alignment in that area.
So, this is what's cool about it. Is that no one can tell you what to do. This is for you to decide.
Health. What does health look like for you? What does wealth look like for you? Relationships, spiritual purpose, what does that look like for you? Don't go on Jenny Craig, don't go on Weight Watchers. "Oh, you should do vegetarian." Well, what if your body just wants freaking chicken and you don't eat chicken and you just eat vegetarian all the time and you're always tired? You're not in alignment.
So, this is for you to decide. And so, wealth. Is it millions or billions or is it $10,000 a month? No one decides that except for you. No one else decides that but you.
But the thing is, you see the ads online "Make $100,000 a month" or whatever it is. And you start getting distracted and you get pulled out of alignment and before you know it, you're not being true to yourself.
For relationships. Here's my example. For me, health looks like working out in the morning and evening. I'm not strict to a diet, like I'm always vegetarian, I'm always vegan. I just kind of walk in the store and whatever feels good to me, I eat.
For wealth, millions and possibly billions. For relationships, deep and vulnerable relationships. Like sitting in presence with people and just looking them in the eyes and not even having to say a word and not having to try to control the situation. That's freaky for me. That's what alignment looks like.
Spiritual. For me, it was God. Visiting God daily with songs. Listening to songs that inspire God into my life. And then purpose, my purpose is uplifting others. That's what I'm here on this planet to do is uplift others and that happens to be through the foundation right now. But those are the things for me for my alignment.
So, I have a few stories about personal life. So, I built software companies for seven years and it was lots of struggle and it was also lots of fun. I made really good money and I also got scammed. And I also was up til 2:00 a.m. some nights, I was working my butt off.
And I saw these sales letters online. And they were like "Sell eBooks and make millions." And I was like "Okay, cool." And so, I started making eBooks and I invested two months of my life making eBooks. And I did this and I made about $1,000 the next year with this eBook.
Meanwhile, the software business was maybe $5,000 a month at the time. And so, when I looked back at my tax return, I was like "eBooks, $1,000, software business, $60,000. Hmm."
I was out of alignment. I was following what other people said. How many people teach what we do in the Foundation now? Not really many. There might be a few popping up as competitors, but we don't worry about them.
Think about how many people teach what we teach in the foundation. Hardly anybody teaches how to build software. And that would have never happened for me if I didn't stay in alignment with software. I stepped out to this eBook. It was awful.
It was like [inaudible 00:23:05] example of pew (?) piano student to piano manager. I'm like software to eBook. And it was awful.
Now, the Foundation. Holy crap, is this company aligned. When I launched the Foundation, I wanted 10 students. 88 joined. The next year, I wanted 200 students. 336 joined. The third year, we wanted 500 and 600-some joined.
Now, we are like abundantly rewarded with the foundation. And it's really fascinating because I also want to link up how stepping in alignment in one area can drastically impact the other.
So, I just ended an intimate relationship a couple of months ago and it became super official 15 days ago. One of the best decisions I could have made at the time. It has allowed me to really find myself again and really step in to what I am. And also, honor my intuition when I knew it was out of alignment for me.
So, what happens is about 15 days ago, we officially ended. Then I decided to go to this thing called the Conference for Men. Now, had I not ended the relationship and got into alignment there, I would have never been to the Conference for Men.
And at the Conference for Men, we met two remarkable people. One is sitting there, Steve. Where are you, Steve? Right there. Who we've now hired to work with the Foundation.
I'll tell you a story. So, I got on stage with four other people. And Mike is like "Hey, I just want to introduce some really world-class people. We have a world-class copywriter, a world-class developer, a world-class marketer and a world-class split-testing optimization guy." And my jaw was like "Holy crap."
Hired the copywriter, hired the split-test guy. We've been looking for these people for six months. And as soon as I stepped in alignment in the intimate relationship arena and owned what was really real for me, however devastating and fearful that decision was, I went to this and I was abundantly rewarded.
And you guys know stories about alignment. You guys have experienced this in your life. And I want to give you guys an exercise after I do that really scary thing.
So, I had the rug pulled out from underneath me last week. When I realized that my Enneagram personality type is the type that I never wanted to be. And I paid this coach to discover it with me.
He said "We're not going to do a test. We're going to go in and we're going to base this on actual how you're really feeling." For those of you who are not familiar with the Enneagram, it's E-N-N-E-A-G-R-A-M. I highly recommend it. It helps you, [inaudible 00:25:46] and I, we've been to Enneagram conferences together.
The Enneagram helps you show you how your ego boxes you in and then allows you to climb it. It's a spiritually-based assessment tool.
So, I've always thought that I was an enthusiast, which is a guy who values freedom and adventure. And an achiever, a guy who just crushes on accomplishment.
The enthusiast values freedom and the achiever values significance. But it turns out, I don't actually care about freedom like I thought I did. Like a 7 is up here and 3 is down here, so I'm doing this as a circle.
And then, 3 values significance. And I always thought "I really want to value significance as a man." It's actually complete bullshit. My deepest desire is to feel safe. I'm a 6.
This is deeply saddening to me, because this is how out of alignment I was in my life for 30 years. I've perceived and chose and pursued freedom which I built ridiculously well. Traveled the world, never had to answer to anyone. Had zero responsibility, no responsibility. The only thing I had to do was pay my taxes every quarter. I was unhappy pursuing freedom.
Then I decided to become super significant. And got on camera, got on the Foundation, wanted to build followers. That didn't really provide what I wanted either. Because what I wanted was safety and I'll never find safety in the physical world. Safety is right here.
But I didn't know I was looking for safety the whole time. And now that I know I'm looking for safety and now that I know I'm actually the loyalist, the type 6...it was so funny because on the call, I was like "Fuck this. I do not want to be a 6." Huge F-bombs, I was cussing all over the place.
"6's are weak, they're pathetic." I won't say any other words. It's a huge deal. And I was like "The last thing I want to be is a 6. No." Seriously, it was awful.
And then, I started reading about the good qualities of a 6. The good qualities of a 6 are remarkable. The 6 is a rock, a fortress, a foundation. And I looked at the levels of health of the 6. And the healthiest levels of 6, they create communities like this. And they create things were people feel safe. Holy crap, now I can own that. It's like yes, that's my "Hell, yes," is this, tonight. Community. Not freedom, not significance, but safety. And that comes from within and community.
It was so cool. It was like "Level 3. The third level of health is a really high level of health for the 3. Once you get here, you just focus on providing safety for others." And that's all I've been doing with the Foundation. You know it if you're in it. Everyone in there feels like they belong. They feel safe, Stacy is in the Foundation. She's brilliant in there.
And so, yeah, that's kind of a big deal. And that happened last week. And this guy was really expensive to hire, but my guilty pleasure...I spent maybe 20 percent of my income on coaching.
This guy doesn't coach anymore. But since I'm pretty persuasive, I'm like "Dude, you have to coach me." He's like "Okay, I'll coach you."
It was so funny, because I think he was $8,000 and then, I delayed it. And then, two or three months later, he's like "It's $12,500 now." I was like "Well, as long as you feel an integrity knowing that you said that it was $8,000, then I'll pay the $12,000."
And he's like "Oh, well, as long as you know that you agreed to $8,000 three months ago and now things have changed." I was like "Okay." There's my check. And two calls in, bam.
And the reason this guy is so good is he does the shadow work, which runs all of our lives. The dark side that you hide from. So, every Enneagram type has these dark shadows and he goes straight into them, so they don't run your life anymore. And these are the things that I do for alignment.
I have five coaches right now. Seriously, I'm nuts. So, since then, I've stepped into the supportive ways. I'm just more loyal. I'm fiercely protective. Beyond which you wouldn't believe.
Tyler...we were out at San Diego. And Tyler got the bright idea to start calling girls "Margaret" and hugging them on the street. And so, he'd walk up "Margaret," and he'd give them hugs and the girls would laugh so hard, because no one is named "Margaret."
And this guy ended up starting a fight with us. And he's pushing me up against the car and he punched me in the back of the head. All I was thinking about was protecting Tyler. And you felt protected, I imagine. I had my arm around him and we were walking away. I was like "Yes, this is who I am."
I don't know how I would have done that. Because back in the day with Drew, Drew got in a fight once and I didn't back him up. I was like "I'm taking my sandals off, man. I'm coming." And I wish I could do that over again, because I would have just dove in like a freaking lion.
I'm not sure what my alignment looks like right now. But I know that "Maybe" is a "No." And I know that I'm sitting with maybes and exploring and I wait for those "Hell, yes'" until I find the "Hell, yes."
But I'm not sitting around. I'm not like "Okay, I'm going to wait. That's a maybe, so it's a no. I'm just going to sit here and wait." You can tentatively pursue the maybes, because it's often when you're in pursuit. You just know you're not going to commit to that maybe and these new things start to happen for you.
So, the story of Encinitas. So, I'm moving to Encinitas, California and it's heaven on earth. It's almost too perfect. The way that I believe that God is working in my life right now is he's either opening doors or closing them. So, he slammed the door shut on my intimate relationship, honored that, finally. And it felt amazing and painful. You guys know what it's like.
Then, I called my buddy up and I said "Hey, I want to move out to San Diego. But it has to be perfect, man. I don't want to live with these people because I don't like them. And I don't want to live here and I want this" and all these criteria. And then, I hung up the phone and I surrendered it to God. I said "You know what? I don't even care. I'm not even going to go anymore. It doesn't bother me. I'm just going to say in Des Moines. I'm totally unattached."
Three days later, I got a message from a friend of mine. And she's like "Hey, we heard you're looking for a place." And I got a place like in one of the nicest homes in the nicest part of Encinitas with some of the coolest people. And it was so funny, I was like "Is it true that I get to live with the cool kids now?" And she's like "No, Dane. We're all nerds. We just grew up." And I was like "Yeah, that feels so true to me."
But the people that I'm living with in this house, they're just remarkable. Like the people that we live with here, you guys are all remarkable. And they're in Encinitas. We're three blocks from the Self-Realization Fellowship, which is one the highest energetic frequencies in the country, the first meditation center.
When you live there, there's this vortex that kind of spins around you. And two blocks from Whole Foods and all the things in this house are just gorgeous. It's like perfect, like instant alignment, right? And that was a "Hell, yes." I said "Yes," within three hours. It felt so perfect.
Finding alignment in this vision board and then finding alignment in God. And David Hawkins talks a lot about this and I wish I would have looked up some of his quotes. But David Hawkins is one of my favorite spiritual teachers. And he's got all of these quotes...he wakes up in the morning and says "God, dedicate me to your service today." "God, I surrender my life to thee and the good works that you will work through me."
And that's how he starts every day and Hawkins is one of the happiest dudes I've ever seen. When he presents on stage, he'll be teaching a super-advanced spiritual concept and then he'll sing a three-year old jig. And he'll laugh and come back and he's like "Sometimes, when I'm really happy, I just like to sing that song." And he's 80.
I should probably do that thing now. So, we're going to do an exercise. How has this been for you guys, so far? How many of you guys feel like you're in alignment in your life? Close. How many know you're not in alignment? Some areas. Me, too. I raised my hand on both of them.
Can you pass me the guitar behind you there? Something that I've started doing on these webinars in the Foundation is I've started doing improv on the guitar. So, I have no idea what I'm going to sing to you guys and that's what terrifies me. And I'm going to do a minute or two, because I don't know if I can stand the tension any more than that.
So, I was on a coaching call today with Christina Rasmussen. Her book is not around anymore, but she's brilliant. She's the author of "Second Firsts," so she's done 25 years of neuroscience research on grief and how to process through really traumatic situations. She lost her husband.
And so, anyway, we were on the call today and I told her "All I really want to do is play." And so, I grabbed the guitar and I played a few songs for her. And she said "All right, Dane, well you're giving a talk on alignment tonight. What are you going to do that's an alignment with who you are?" I was like "We're not going to sing anything." And she's like "Well, if you don't sing anything, then I'm not going to work with your coaching client and you've spent all your money and we're only two sessions in."
Here's my new alignment practice, so here's what I'm thinking about. Alignment is typically something that no one will ever tell you what to do. And it's something that you would just do yourself. And it comes to you kind of like through this spark of whatever. And it's typically, totally off the beaten path. I'm like "Could I do this over here?"
And so, for me, what I'm going to start doing and experimenting with--and I don't know what will happen with it. But it's something about "Morning Wisdoms with Dane." And so, each morning, I'm going to wake up and I'm going to have a love affair with myself because I'm practicing self-love.
I just realized a couple days ago, I was like "Oh, my Gosh. I don't love myself or like myself that much." And I was really angry all the time. And honestly, I just thought awareness was like "I love myself and like myself a lot now." Just two days. Maybe sometimes, I don't, but that's okay.
This is my new thing. This is an alignment with me. This feels totally perfect. And it's "Morning Wisdoms with Dane." So, I'm going to wake up every morning and we're going to start on the road trip, boys. And I'm going to sing for a minute. It's a love affair with myself. And I'm going to sing a song for whatever message it is that I need to hear that day. And then, I'm just going to post it up on YouTube and we'll see what happens. But that's what alignment's looking like for me.
So, I don't really have any idea what I'm going to sing about right now. And I don't actually feel that much fear, which is really cool. It'll probably start.
[Music; pause from 00:36:54 to 00:40:50. Song not transcribed; there are nothing in the style guide addressing music]
How happy do I look right now? Seriously, this is what alignment looks like. This is what can be your life when you step into full artistic expression, full heartfelt expression of who you are. And I'm going to stand for all of you to find that. I'm here for you to find that.